The Lost Art of Celebrating People

The Lost Art of Celebrating People

What does celebrating people mean to you? What does it look like? Is the most important part of celebrating a milestone about what guests you invite to celebrations bring or is it about who you can hug and thank for their support? A society motivated by materialism has caused a shift in the purpose behind showers and celebrations. The consequences of this shift are a lack of humility and gratitude in how society celebrates people and accomplishments. Life is short and memories of time spent with those we cherish will long outlast those of gifts.

I do not get much happier than when I am sitting around the table with my family. One of my favorite places in the entire world is the dining table in my great aunt and uncle’s house. The world melts away and all I want to do it soak up the moment because they get fewer as I get older. Successes and milestones no matter how small have always been celebrated in my family by family and friends. When my brother’s and I’s heads got too big, my parents were there to remind us that celebrating our successes was important but so was the family that helped get us there. This has instilled in me a deep desire to always want the people that I love around when celebrating anything. Is this desire the norm however?

Have celebrations become greed fests?

I recently listened to a podcast by Nick Leighton and Leah Bonnema on their show ‘Were You Raised by Wolves?’ (a name which I adore) where they discussed the etiquette of bridal showers. They talked about how they have turned into parties thrown by the bride herself and one of the hosts, Leah, went as far to call them greed fests. What was once a tradition thrown by a maid of honor or a church for the person who is getting married has turned into something where guests feel as though they are just there for what they bring with them.

This got me thinking about what this means about our society at large. I feel that this shift is indicative of our materialistic society overall. One can sit and theorize at whose fault this is all day but anyone can see the consequences of this shift. Many people so are wrapped up in themselves that they find throwing a shower for themselves and expecting intricate gifts acceptable behavior.

They are no longer celebrating their milestone with the focus of being surrounded by those they value but rather what they are receiving at the event. This is not this theoretical person’s fault either. Society has done this. As people become engrossed with themselves they are no longer focused on how they can celebrate others but rather what others can do for themselves. Unless you are surrounded by good people with good values, this leaves you with no one to celebrate you so what do you do? You want to be celebrated so you throw yourself the shower. It is all connected.

This is not to say that throwing multiple showers for yourself and inviting the same people is not your fault. Your wedding guests want to celebrate you and they will be much happier to be there if the focus is not on gifts. Individual critical thinking is always vital.

Human Connection is What Matters

Especially in our post-Covid world, being together and having human connection is incredibly important. This is something that Professor Jill Robinson spoke to during our interview. She said that human connection will always be valued high and that it will never go away. Even in complete agreement of this, I wonder that the values of society today that we see played out in scenarios like bridal showers are a threat to this. (Read the full interview here).

I saw this TikTok awhile ago of a couple walking through a store creating their registry for their wedding. I have no problem with registries outright and I feel that every couple should do what they see best, however, something about how this couple kept selecting expensive items that they did not necessarily need that rubbed me the wrong way. Registries are in theory meant to help guests select a gift for the wedding they are attending to help the couple get their household set up with items that they need or upgrade items that they already have. It was just the way this couple had no qualms about selecting these several hundred dollar a piece items, just because, that was off putting. What are your guests supposed to think when they log onto your registry and see such items? It seems selfish and out of touch.

These scenarios are evidence that our society has lost the art of celebrating people.

Humility and gratitude should be the main focus of those who are being honored. No one gets to where they are solely by themselves. We all have support systems no matter how large or small. I will be the first to tell you that I love my birthday, it is one of my favorite times of year. I do not mean this in the way that we are celebrating me, rather I can use my birthday as a way to bring those that I love together. As I get older, all I want is to be around family, what I would give to sit with my grandparents one more time and hear about their day.

This is what the celebration of someone should be. It should be getting the people together who you care about and who care about your milestones.

In the context of bridal showers. If you are a maid of honor or close friends of the bride, the bridal shower is your responsibility. Should the mother of the bride want to help host the celebration, this is absolutely okay. If you are a bride, remember what your celebration is about and enjoy the moments with those who come. As a bride, if you help with the guest list, be cautious of who is invited so as not to invite guests to multiple showers if work or church groups are also hosting showers. The right person hosting will help the event feel better and help to preserve the true purpose of it.

I watched my mom growing up host an endless amount of sports banquets, school get-togethers, teachers appreciations, golf team dinners and the list goes on. In watching her and being involved, I really do believe that the work and costs that go into such things pay itself off in the memories that are made. Not only did the planning of these small gatherings spark the fire in me to pursue events, but they showed me the importance of bringing people together. My senior year of high school, my parents hosted a sports banquet for my private school and they worked for weeks to determine how to create a giant single table down the length of our entire back porch so that everyone was seated together. Not only do I remember that event fondly but the drive and desire to bring people together that my mom had will inspire me for a long time.

What Should We Do?

This is all to say that the focus of celebrating people should be on bringing people together who you value to create memories of accomplishing that milestone that last forever. Life is very short and at the end of it, we will remember the time we shared with loved ones over what we were gifted. Celebrate the people in your lives with the purpose of fostering human connection. Hug your grandparents tight and toast to the people that matter.

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